Day 11: When You Feel Like a Failure

 

Yesterday was one of those days. You know the kind - where nothing goes right, and everything feels like it is going south. Nothing was really wrong, but my hormones were all out of whack and man, I felt like a failure. A terrible wife, a failure as a mom. My photos were no good, my house was a pigsty... you know how it goes. I’m behind on laundry, the sink is full of dishes, my floors are filthy. I can’t ever make any headway on my projects, Javi’s forehead is covered in bruises because he has taken to hitting his head on the floor because... well, I just don’t know why. I’m counting down the hours until the day is over, I can crawl into bed and hope that tomorrow will be better.

Here’s the truth. I am not a failure. I am a fantastic wife, a fabulous mother, and I do my best to keep my family, clean, fed, healthy and happy. I am also a woman that God created with an intricate, complex set of hormones. And these hormones sometimes conspire against me and try to convince me that I am crazy. But those are my hormones talking. What’s the truth?

I am a child of the King, a daughter of the most high, incredibly blessed by the Creator of the universe. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and works incredibly hard for us. A happy, healthy son who adores me and makes me laugh. I am young and strong and healthy.

A wise man told me “the difference between correction and condemnation is that correction pushes you towards Christ, condemnation pushes you away from Christ.” When I am in my hormone induced downward spiral of despair, I do my very best to remember this. I stop, collect myself and tell myself what the TRUTH is. God loves me, and all he asks of me is that I love Him and love those around me.

Post partum hormones are no joke, girls. Your body is shedding hormones, and pumping you up with new ones. Once all that craziness is over, guess what? You’re still a woman with hormones. :) . Learn what your triggers are, what starts you on that crazy cycle that ends with you feeling like a failure. Write down what you know to be true, and start repeating it to yourself (out loud if necessary!) when the crazies hit.

And remember, when you feel like a failure, it’s the hormones talking. Stop listening to them, and start listening to your Father.

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God [is] with thee whithersoever thou goest.