Day 31: 0n Desiring Earthly Glory

Wanna know a secret? Sometimes I wish there was a medal for motherhood. I was an excellent student growing up, because the grading system satisfied my overwhelming desire for approval and validation. Straight A's? Gold stars for perfect attendance? Trophies for academic excellence? I got them all.



I remember in high school, I would study for hours and hours at night, pass all my exams with flying colors, and then get monstrously sick on the weekends and every holiday. My health would suffer, my relationships would suffer, but I would always get those perfect grades because it made me feel awesome.

After high school and college, I worked for about a year, and then quit my job to be a stay at home wife. And suddenly, there was this void. I didn't miss the people, or the paycheck, or the career that I thought I wanted. I was having a blast being mistress of my own schedule, keeping our home and being available for Lover. What I did miss was the validation and ego stroking that I received from my grades and being a good employee.



Let me take a moment to say that this is no reflection on Lover. He is the best at complimenting my skills, noticing things at home that I've changed, thanking me for the work that I do. He's everything a husband should be, and beyond.

My struggle comes from wanting my accolades now. In this life. Thinking that trophies on a wall or a grade on a paper means I am worth something. And, guess what? There are no trophies, medals or grades in motherhood.


I can still get the approval of others though, and I find myself looking for it. I want a project of mine to go viral on Pinterest, because my latest project is just so awesome. I want the stranger in the store to comment on how composed and awesome I am at handling toddler mood swings, or how brave I am at doing everything with two kids (under two!).

But God is teaching me that I need to reorder my priorities. That I need to put in the hard work of being the best mother I can be to my kids, without looking around to see if someone noticed. I need to raise them to love God and teach them to live for His glory, not themselves.

And if being a mother is teaching me anything, it's to be less self centered. Less concerned with what people think of me, and more concerned with doing what the Father wants me to do. Even if there is no visible reward.

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This is the last day of the 31 Days Of Our New Normal. My goal was to post every day, and I managed to post 23 times, which I'm pretty proud of! That's 7,671 words on how we're adjusting to having two kids, on what our days have looked like, and on my adventures navigating the challenges that come with 2 under 2. It's been exhausting posting this much. But I'm so glad that I'll have this record to look back on in a few years. I hope you've all enjoyed it along with me!