

I don't usually have this much trouble making decisions. :-) I promise.
I was finishing out my first year living back in the States, and I was excited about my first real relationship. Shortly after we started dating I enrolled in college, and began a new job at a community health center. I was working as a receptionist, and it was a very stressful, low paying job. I had a full class schedule, and I was trying to figure out how to balance a relationship, a job, and full time school.
I was trying my hardest to be independent, as I had always wanted to be. I paid my bills, got good grades, worked hard at my job. I had dreams of excelling in my career, but soon realized that I was at a dead end job that would always be stressful and frustrating. I started to see the incredible amount of energy and determination it would take to actually have this successful career, and that it would involve years of toiling away. And even then, there was no guarantee that I would "make it."
More and more I was beginning to realize that this dream I had held for most of my life was turning out to be a bit more like a nightmare. I was not miserable, but I was exhausted. I was independent, yes, but I was not invincible, apparently. I observed other women in the workplace, and noticed how many were single moms, divorcees, or simply single. I had to ask myself why that was, and I didn't like the answer.
When I imagined how my "grown up" life would be, I had always imagined myself on my own. I didn't think a man would work with the way I wanted my future to be. This man constantly surprised me. I was falling for him, in a bad way. He was kind and considerate, and he showed me another kind of “man”, one that I hadn’t considered when I planned to be independent and successful. The kind of man who could help me become a better person and who would love me for the rest of my life.~
Come back next week for the next part in this story
Hi, my name is Jenny, and I am a stay-at-home wife.
Does this surprise you? Are you curious about how this came to be? What is your reaction to this statement? I can tell you that a few years ago, my reaction would have been something akin to this:
“Wow, how antiquated and un-liberated. She must not be a very bright girl, because she obviously couldn’t accomplish anything else other than getting married and staying at home”
I believed that the only women who would choose to stay home were those who a) had no other choice (a la uber-conservative religions) b) didn’t have the “brains” to make something of themselves or c) were essentially “doormats” who served chauvinist men and allowed themselves to be bossed around by them.
If you had told me, just a few short years ago, that I would now be in my third year of marriage, and my second year of being a stay at home wife, I would have laughed at you. All of my life I was told that I was an exceptional person, capable of accomplishing great things, that I was destined to excel. I considered many different careers, excelled in academics, and scoffed at my girlfriends who wanted to get married and settled down.
Then I met my husband. Or rather, I re-met him. We were childhood friends who reconnected after I moved back from
I couldn’t believe myself. I felt like I was betraying all that I had been brought up to be. I mean, I had great potential, remember? I was going to make something of myself. But my feelings were betraying me. Suddenly I found myself wanting nothing more than to make a life with this man, to have a home together, to face the world as a unified team.
~
P.S. Come back next week for part two in my story of how I ended up becoming a stay-at-home wife.