Day 4: 0n Feeling Inadequate

It sneaks up on me in the most unlikely of times. As I'm falling asleep at night in bed. I didn't get enough done today. When I am playing cars on the floor with Javi.  I should be teaching him his colors right now, while we play with these cars.  When I am doing the dishes. I should be holding Keilana right now. In the middle of dealing with a tantrum. I don't know how to handle this.

I so often struggle with feeling like I am not up to the task of mothering these little munchkins.  When I stop to consider the fact that, together with Lover, I am their greatest influence during their formative years, my heart races. What if I royally screw this up? How will they look back on their childhood? Will they have conversations with their friends when they are adults, discussing all of the ways that I failed them?

I haven't found the way to beat these feelings completely. I write out verses that contradict the thoughts in my mind, and tape them up on the wall  so I can focus on the truth. I'm working on dwelling on my successes, not my failures. And this reminder from Lover, written on the mirror above my dresser, makes me smile.



So I repeat it to myself in my head when those thoughts creep in. And I thank God for giving me a husband that encourages me to set aside my fears, and is a rock for me to depend on.