30 Weeks

On Monday I hit the 30 week mark. For some reason this is one of the milestones I look forward to most, perhaps because there are less than three months left? Anyways, I thought I'd post a couple of the pictures I took today, along with a list of 30 things I am grateful for right now, in this stage of pregnancy. As I talked about in my last post, pregnancy is a challenge for me, so I thought it would be really beneficial to list out some things that I am thankful for.

1. I'm grateful for a husband who loves me unconditionally, puts up with my emotional crazy and moodiness, and encourages me every day.

2. I'm grateful for my little Javi as he is a constant reminder of the joy that will come!

3. I'm grateful for the "lousy" weather we've had so far this summer, all this rain is keeping me cool!

4. I'm grateful for sweet friends who share clothes, diapers, blankets, body pillows and anything else I need for baby K.

5. I'm grateful for modern medicine, and the wonders of Prevacid. Nasty heartburn be gone!

6. I'm grateful for the great deal we got on an air conditioner. I'm positive we'll be needing that!

7. I'm grateful for a break from the nausea and daily sacrifices of food. :)

8. I'm grateful for a doctor who is laid back and calm, but still takes the time to listen to my concerns.

9. I'm grateful for a healthy, growing baby, with no complications. In that sense it's an easy pregnancy.

10. I'm grateful for the little kicks and jabs I feel all day and night, letting me know that baby is healthy.

11. I'm grateful for understanding family and friends that help me out on the hard days.

12. I'm grateful that we've had no trouble getting pregnant either time. So many struggle with infertility, and I know we are blessed.

13. I'm grateful for Javi's energy and busyness, that keep the days flying by as we wait to meet this little babe.

14. I'm grateful for nap times! :)

15. I'm grateful that our kids will be close together, and won't remember not having each other.

16. I'm grateful that this time we're having a summer baby. It's so hard to keep an infant warm in winter!

17. I'm grateful that God gives me the patience, grace and energy for each day, if I just ask for it!

18. I'm grateful that I am able to drink water again without puking! That was not a fun phase.

19. I am grateful for fantastic back rubs from Lover that make me sleepy in 2.3 seconds.

20. I am grateful that human gestation only lasts 9 months, not 2.5 years like an elephant :)

21. I'm grateful to have nice friends who only compliment me and tell me "how great I look." I really appreciate that. And them!

22. I'm grateful for the option of an epidural.

23. I'm grateful that God has blessed me with many wise mothers around me who are willing to take the time to teach me how to be a better mom.

24. I'm grateful for a husband who works even harder while I am pregnant, filling in all the gaps that my lack of energy create.

25. I'm grateful that I passed my glucose test! This momma needs her ice cream! :)

26. I'm grateful that we are having a daughter. I'm getting excited about having a little girl!

27. I'm grateful my mom will be staying with us for a few weeks as we navigate the change from one kiddo to two!

28. I'm grateful the hospital is less than fifteen minutes away. :)

29. I'm grateful to still be able to reach my toes!

30. I'm grateful that there are only 66 days left of this pregnancy! (Be on time, Baby K!)

a hard week full of blessings

Last week was a full, crazy, stressful week. The kind where each day goes by and you think- phew, I made it through today! And you wonder if tomorrow will be as difficult, and you pray that it's not, but then it turns out to be just as hard. Lover worked all weekend last weekend, and then every.single. week night. It was insane. I was so thankful that my parents were here to help, play with Javi and keep us busy. But I missed Lover terribly.

One of the hardest adjustments of having Javi was no longer having loads of uninterrupted time for just Lover and I. We have our set-in-stone weekly date nights, and we do our best to take advantage of the times we get besides that, but when we have a week like last week, where we don't even spend enough time together to reflect on our day... it's not fun.

The point of this post is not to complain. The point is that God has been teaching me about a change in perspective. Remember when I talked about dirty dishes a few posts ago? It's the same lesson. I tried to look for things to be thankful for last week. Thankful for the amount of time I got to spend with my parents. Thankful for the chance for Javi to get to know his Yayo and Yaya. Thankful for the crocuses that pushed their way up through the snow with happy little yellow flowers. Thankful that I'm married to a man that loves us enough to get up and go to work every day when I know he's exhausted and tired of it all.

And after the clarity of a couple of good night's sleep, some time together and some downtime, I'm reminded even more of how truly blessed I am. Blessed that these really hard weeks are few and far between. Blessed with a beautiful family. Blessed with a little boy who lights up our days. Blessed with another little baby whose life is filled with promise. Blessed with a heavenly Father who  loves me and has given me a holy calling to serve him as daughter, wife and mother.

RiverWalk

Our town has a river that slices the whole city in half and lets out into the lake. There is a 15 mile riverwalk that we decided to check out one quiet Sunday evening in September. We saw tons of birds, herons, ducks, turtles, and a beaver. It was a lot of fun!













Javi decided to try out the taste of leaves, he wasn't thrilled.



 

At the end of our walk (not the end of the riverwalk though!) we came across this funny little boater's community. People had sheds, neon lights, customized signs... it was the funniest thing.



Such a fun evening, and some great fresh air and exercise too! :-)

Another Storm and my stormy thoughts

Well, we are in the midst of winter storm warning 9,358 for this winter. We're supposed to get 12 inches in the next 8 hours, and most of it is supposed to fall before noon.  I'm sitting on my living room couch typing this, and it is kind of a strange feeling. The snow is coming down so heavily and blowing so fiercely, that at times it is almost completely white outside, and it is eerily silent. A very strange feeling. Lover chatted me from work to ask me not to go run my errands today, to which I was happy to comply. Me no likey the snow. :-) We were supposed to have all of our nieces and nephews over for a fun evening tonight, and I am hoping that will still happen. We'll see. I don't want anyone risking their necks in this weather!

We've lost a lot of sleep this week as we have stayed up late into the night talking about anything and everything. Lover and I are both feeling especially burdened by the amount of people in our lives that need extra love and care and attention. It's hard to invest in people and love them, and do whatever you can for them, and then watch them make bad choices. It's hard to watch people settle for "good enough" in their marriages, or life, or relationship with God. It's hard to be pushed away by the very people that need you most.

I often think, if it is this hard to be invested in people's lives who are "grown-ups", what will it be like to be parents? If the day ever comes for us to have our own children, how do you find a balance between loving them and wanting to protect them, and still allowing them to make their own mistakes? Sounds like a hard job to me.

And through all of this, I keep coming back to this one thought. This must be a tiny glimpse of how God feels. He loves us all so much, and invests so much in us. It must hurt him so much when we push him away, or refuse to listen to him, or do something he knows will hurt us. It gives me a greater appreciation for his longsuffering towards us, for his patience with us no matter what.

Isn't God good? He really is. And it's amazing how much we can do when we simply rely on him to give us the strength to get through each day.

OK, well I am off to get the house ready for all the little people coming over later. And all the bigger people coming over this weekend. It's another busy weekend here at Wendhurst Castle, but I can't complain, because all that means is that we are so blessed! :-)

Third Anniversary

Today is the third anniversary of our owning Wendhurst Castle. I was just telling a friend the other day that as much as I absolutely love our house, and I am beyond thankful for it, I am not sure that we still would have purchased this house knowing how much work it would be. Who would have known that it would take months to remove the cork off of the living room walls, or that a basement renovation would be stretching into the 23rd month on this project? But it has been so worth it. I love how we've slowly been transforming this house into home, and making every inch of it ours.



Some combination of keeping this house, as well as restoring this house, has become my fulltime job. It's a good thing I quit my "day job" three years ago, because we never would have accomplished half of the things we have so far.  We've learned so much, about home renovation, about ourselves, about each other. We make a great team, together we've tackled plumbing, demolition, electrical, drywall, painting, decorating.... the list goes on and on. We're having a blast. :)

When we looked into purchasing a home, we made two resolutions:



1) That we would use our home to be a blessing to others. We weren't buying 1600 square feet to have more space to fill up with stuff, we were buying it so that we had the room to have people over for dinner, to host parties, to have guests... the list goes on and on. God has given us so many opportunities to use the castle for him, whether it be by hosting missionaries, or family, or friends (old and new!), or having someone (or many someones) over for dinner. It's been our view from the beginning that if God saw fit to bless us with this house, then we'll use it for him as much as we can!



2) That our owning a home and restoring it would never be the primary focus of our lives. This is why it has taken us 23 months and counting to remodel our basement, three summers to clear out a concrete planter, and why, three years later, my office ceiling is still falling down. :-) People are so much more important than houses or things, and so that's where our focus is.

So yes, we've put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into our home. A lot of time. A lot of money. But we've put many, many more hours into the lives of people around us. And if that means that our basement bathroom still has no walls, even though it has a functioning toilet, then that's how it will be. ;-)

Forward a Year Ago

As the new year approaches, I have been thinking about my goals for 2011. I try to come up with things that are true goals that I can reach for throughout the year, and not just well meaning New Year's resolutions that fall by the wayside after the first two weeks. Here's what's cluttering up my mind these days;

True Christianity. Christ calls us to be in the world, not of the world. Christians so often squabble over things like clothing, celebrating holidays and movies watched, but I think the intent that Christ meant here was much, much deeper and far reaching. We know from 1 Samuel that God looks straight past what we do on the outside and examines our heart and motives. So, to make a trivial example, he doesn't care that my socks don't match my shirt, but it saddens him to see me angry at a friend over something inconsequential.

This last year I have been overwhelmed by the power that Christ can have in my life when I step back and allow him to lead. With his help, I've accomplished things I never thought were possible, and I've seen it in ways I never imagined. I've always believed in the power of prayer, but this year I saw it in tangible, measurable, mind-blowing ways. I always believed that His strength was made perfect in weakness, but never did I see it more clearly than throughout this trying and stressful year, in which I hardly ever felt stressed.

As I look at next year, and I set goals for myself, my marriage and my family, I want to spend more time meditating on that power, and how to allow it to overtake my life. I don't want to separate myself from the world, I want to be in it and have people notice that there's something different about me. You know the Maybelline commercials? "Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline." In a sense, that's what I want to be whispered behind my back. "Isn't she nice? It's gotta be God."

My brothers and I have been spending a lot of time lately talking about cherished memories from growing up. There have been several embarrassing stories about my less than stellar babysitting skills which pretty much consisted of yelling at them until my parents came home. Not my proudest moments, to be sure. But you know what? I don't yell at them anymore. The power of God in my life can do monumental things, but it can also do simple things like change family dynamics and help brothers and sisters to love each other.

My family in Christ is a bigger example of that family dynamic. I love my brothers, with all their faults, and they love me, with all of mine. Taken to a larger scale, I have millions of brothers and sisters around the world that I am to love, and they love me in return. With the love of God flowing through me, there should never be a time when I utter the words "I just can't stand that girl." Because she is either my sister in Christ, or she is my potential future sister in Christ. Isn't His love amazing?

As I look at the next year of my life, my goal is simple: to allow Christ to shine through me.

Simple, but that one goal impacts every single area of my life. I can't get caught up in petty Christian arguments like whether or not we should have a Christmas tree. But, I also must remember that those petty Christians are my spiritual siblings, and I need to love them, not just be frustrated by them.

Each day is a choice. I can choose to make my own decisions and live in my own strength, or I can look to Christ for the strength, grace and love to make it through each day, and to leave others better than I found them.

Gratefulness

I read a bunch of posts over the last few days about Mother's Day. Some were happy, a lot were whiny. These moms  basically talked about how their husbands and children had not met their expectations for the "one day that was all about them." And while I can see their point about how hard it is to be a mother, the overarching theme that hit me while reading this post was the amount of ungratefulness. Ironically, many of these women were complaining that their children seemed ungrateful of the work that the moms do for their children every day. However, the mothers, by assuming that they were deserving of "praise" or "pampering" by their children, were exhibiting their true hearts of ungratefulness.

Proverbs 31 talks about a virtuous woman, and in one of the verses, it says that her children "rise up and call her blessed." Last week I went to a funeral for a lovely woman from our church, and her children did exactly this. They all spoke of the love she had shown them, of the work ethic she had taught them, and the example that she had been to them by being a sweet, perpetually smiling mother. The praise from her children wasn't forced, canned or expected. It was honest and sincere and came from the heart.

It's noteworthy that in Proverbs 31, the children weren't celebrating their mother on Mother's Day (that we know of). The virtuous woman wasn't expecting her children to praise her. From everything we know of this woman, she worked hard, cared for her family, and had little concern for herself or "what she deserved".

Lover and I were talking the other day about expectations. He hates all events that come with mandatory gifts, because they create an expectation that the person deserves a gift, and the giver is compelled to give a gift. It is much easier for the person receiving the gift to feel as if they deserve the gift, and therefore be less grateful.

It's not difficult to be grateful when you understand that you are not entitled to anything. That there is no guarantee that you will have anything, or receive anything. God promises us food and clothing, and that is it. So, if you have food in your belly (and your cupboards) and clothing on your body, your expectations have been met. Absolutely everything beyond that is given to us, and we should therefore be grateful for it. Make no assumptions that you deserve a healthy family, or even a family, for that matter. Do not assume that you deserve a large home, with a yard and a dog. Do not assume that your husband, children or family should praise you, or that you deserve a day off.

When you have removed the expectation that you deserve something, suddenly everything becomes a gift. The air you're breathing, and the fact that you can breathe easily. The sound of your children playing (maybe even fighting) because you have been given children, and healthy children at that. The beautiful items surrounding you  in your home, and also the home you live in.

Some of the many, many gifts I've been given are:

• A husband who loves me and wants me to be happy, cares about my needs and cares for me the very best that he can.


• A family protected from illness, death and divorce.


• A beautiful home to call our own.


• Brothers and sisters in Christ that continue to expand my family.


• My own health including being able to walk, talk, hear and see.


• The fact that winter is always followed by spring.


• Friends who support me, uplift me and encourage me.


• A variety of foods in my pantry, cupboards and freezer.


• Gas in my working car.


• Multiple pairs of shoes for my feet.


• A closet full of clothes.


• Extra rooms in my house for family and friends

I could go on and on all day. When I stop to list the things I am blessed with, it is truly humbling. Anything I may have wanted to complain about becomes paltry in comparison. Life may be hard, mundane or discouraging, but remember;

"He never promised that the cross would not get heavy, that the hill would not be hard to climb. He never offered our victory without fighting but he said help would always come in time"

A Crazy Life

I know the blog has suffered lately, and to be honest, it hasn't really bothered me. We've kept a really, really hectic schedule the last three months, and there simply wasn't time for everything. That said, it has been an awesome couple of months that I wouldn't trade for anything. I am, however, looking forward to a quieter and more home bound schedule over the summer. I hope! Here's a look at what our life has been like for the last three months:

Sun Feb 14: Jet out to New York City for three weeks of  shopping bliss work .



Friday Feb 19: Head back home amidst a terrible snowstorm, broken hearted that an install got canceled and work was sending us back home.

Feb 20th- March 5th: Entertain delusions of working on basement, avoid working on basement all together.

Friday March 5th - Sunday March 7th: Surprise Lover with much needed get away weekend for some "us time." Sleep lots, eat good food, talk lots.



Thursday March 11: Welcome sister in law and sis-in-law's sister, as well as their beautiful children into our home.

March 12 - March 20: Sleep in living room on partially deflated air mattress while guests sleep in our room, brother sleeps in guest room, and in reality, very little sleeping is accomplished. Have great fun with chubby little nephew, discuss with Lover the probability of us having a child if it guarantees a happy baby like little nephew.

March 20 - March 30: Run around like chicken with head cut off preparing for missions trip to Spain.  Go to four different Walmarts trying to find requested items for family members in Spain. Assist brother with last minute apartment preparations as he gets ready to move out on April 1st.

Thursday, April 1:  Embark on 22 hour long trip to Spain, excited beyond all possible belief. Talk about how it's only been five years since I've been back, but it's been twelve years since Lover has been there.



April 2 - April 12th: Enjoy whirlwind trip to Spain. Try to stay awake throughout jam-packed schedule that includes getting up early and staying up late. Marvel at how little sleep a person really needs to survive. Eat lots of bread, and lots of pastries and drink lots of coffee. Wonder how it was possible to forget how good the food is in Spain.

April 13th: Try to pawn off tickets on anyone who will take them in order to stay in Spain. Admit failure, board US bound plane.

April 14th: Marvel at new level of exhaustion. Cry most of day about missing Spain. Try to get act together to leave town again in three days.

April 14 - 17th: Shop for food, cook dinner. Unpack.  Shop for shower gifts, birthday gifts and housewarming gifts. Attend church service. Have lunch with friend. Do laundry. Have coffee with different friend. Clean house. Start flower plants. Do more laundry. Attend prayer meeting. See brother's new apartment, give housewarming gifts to him and fiancee. Do photoshoot with uncooperative little one. Edit pictures, including ones never gotten to before Spain. Do even more laundry. Help cook birthday dinner for future sister in law, attend birthday party for said SIL. Attend bridal shower, edit more pictures, finish laundry, pack for NYC. Attend family dinner, finish packing.

April 18th: Board plane for NYC.

April 19th: Enjoy shopping in Manhattan. Realize that exhaustion has hit all time high. Take small afternoon nap. Spend evening in hotel room with Lover eating excellent pizza and watching shows. Fall asleep by 10:30pm.

April 20th: Decide to "take it easy." Sleep late, watch several movies and take a nap. Start to feel like a human once again.



April 21 - 25: Enjoy the busy city, have a fun weekend with Lover exploring flea markets and Brooklyn, do lots of shopping. Express amazement that there is still an entire week left away from home in which more shopping can be done.

April 26 - 30 : Decide that I really shouldn't spend more money or I'll undo all that hard savings work we've done. Enjoy lazy days at hotel, botanical gardens and museums. Do a teensy, weensy bit more shopping. ;-)

May 1: Arrive home, wondering where April went, and for that matter, March and February too. Make extensive list of "things to do". Get busy.

So that's where life has taken us the last few months. It has been amazing and awesome and exhausting. I'll be posting pictures next week of our trip to Spain, and maybe a few from NYC as well. Have a wonderful day!

thoughts

I don't have a lot to talk about today. I am having fun living life, snuggling my little nephew and catching up with my sister. (In-law, but I've never had a sister, and she is what I imagine my sister would have been like, had I had one.) They live all the way in California, and I really miss them.

My sister's sister is staying with us too, along with her two precious kids. It has been a blast watching them all play and interact. I can't believe how much energy little munchkins have. And how innocent they are. They are so well behaved, at a stranger's house.

Lover brought me flowers, and surprised me with a diamond necklace this week. Just because. I love that he is so sweet and thoughtful that way. He doesn't like to give gifts when they are expected. He prefers to give them when there's no expectation, because, really, isn't it much more meaningful that way?

So anyways, not a lot of progress on the house. Not a lot of time to blog. But that means that we are having fun in our life, and that is what is most important. :-)

Signing off now, nephew needs more snugglin' :-)

Good Morning

"The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it" - Michelangelo

Fun Times at the Renaissance Festival

Last weekend Lover, my brother, my other brother's girlfriend and her sister and I (are you confused yet?) went to the Sterling Renaissance Festival. We also brought along some other friends, their parents and the friends' kids. What a crowd! However, the friends didn't make it into this picture. :-)

The festival is so much fun, there are tons of shows to watch, shops to browse and impromptu skits in the middle of all of the people.

We love the glass blowing exhibit (so much so that I forgot to take pictures of it!) and this wood shop was pretty cool. Here's my brother looking cool as usual in a chair carved from a tree trunk.

Then I did my best impression of a garden gnome that was also hanging out in this shop.

Dead on, right? I could totally moonlight as a garden gnome. :-) Well, except for the beard. Our favorite show by far is Johnny Fox. He is a sword swallowing- sleight of hand - magician turned comedian. While the sword swallowing is impressive, he is just genuinely funny, and we always laugh our heads off.

Of course, there are beautiful horses at the festival, and most participate in the jousting tournament. Here's my new friend that Lover wouldn't let me bring home. :-)

I was also chosen to be the queen in a Human Chess Match, and we won! My move was the one that checkmated the black, which I am very proud of :-)

And lastly, the obligatory self portrait that we always take on trips. We had such a great time, a great way to spend the weekend!