Cleaning Up Messes

 I spend my day cleaning up messes. Wiping off meat sauce lasagna from chubby cheeks. Sweeping up graham crackers. Picking up blocks, stuffed animals and whatever else tickled my little guy’s fancy today. Vacuuming an unseemly amount of food out of the recesses of the high chair. Scrubbing the day’s dirt out of his hair, from behind his ears, off grubby fingers and toes.

I welcome the mess. Lonely in my too perfect and too clean house, I wished for a household of noise and chaos. I prayed for a child to follow me around, to make messes, to tug at my skirts. And my loving Father heard my prayer, and answered it.

On my good days, I don’t see the mess. I see beauty. I see my son’s insatiable appetite for learning, discovering, growing. I see the joy on his face as he grinds applesauce into his hair. The wonder as he opens a shoe box and pulls out the treasures I’ve hidden inside for him. I see a house that is lived in, used and enjoyed.

These are the things that matter. The cobwebs under my furniture don’t matter. The unpainted walls don’t matter. What matters is the fact that I am blessed beyond all that I could wildly imagine. Blessed with a little boy who is teaching me so much, without uttering a single word.

I 'm learning that this is how God sees us. Where we see imperfections, failures and disappointments, He sees beauty. He sees His child who He loves, who in His eyes is perfect. Yes, he still has to pick up our messes, but he doesn’t mind them. Because they are the evidence of the fact that we are learning and growing, and reaching out to be closer to Him.

Those messes don’t define us, we are defined by His love for us and His delight in the people we are growing up to be.

Forward a Year Ago

As the new year approaches, I have been thinking about my goals for 2011. I try to come up with things that are true goals that I can reach for throughout the year, and not just well meaning New Year's resolutions that fall by the wayside after the first two weeks. Here's what's cluttering up my mind these days;

True Christianity. Christ calls us to be in the world, not of the world. Christians so often squabble over things like clothing, celebrating holidays and movies watched, but I think the intent that Christ meant here was much, much deeper and far reaching. We know from 1 Samuel that God looks straight past what we do on the outside and examines our heart and motives. So, to make a trivial example, he doesn't care that my socks don't match my shirt, but it saddens him to see me angry at a friend over something inconsequential.

This last year I have been overwhelmed by the power that Christ can have in my life when I step back and allow him to lead. With his help, I've accomplished things I never thought were possible, and I've seen it in ways I never imagined. I've always believed in the power of prayer, but this year I saw it in tangible, measurable, mind-blowing ways. I always believed that His strength was made perfect in weakness, but never did I see it more clearly than throughout this trying and stressful year, in which I hardly ever felt stressed.

As I look at next year, and I set goals for myself, my marriage and my family, I want to spend more time meditating on that power, and how to allow it to overtake my life. I don't want to separate myself from the world, I want to be in it and have people notice that there's something different about me. You know the Maybelline commercials? "Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline." In a sense, that's what I want to be whispered behind my back. "Isn't she nice? It's gotta be God."

My brothers and I have been spending a lot of time lately talking about cherished memories from growing up. There have been several embarrassing stories about my less than stellar babysitting skills which pretty much consisted of yelling at them until my parents came home. Not my proudest moments, to be sure. But you know what? I don't yell at them anymore. The power of God in my life can do monumental things, but it can also do simple things like change family dynamics and help brothers and sisters to love each other.

My family in Christ is a bigger example of that family dynamic. I love my brothers, with all their faults, and they love me, with all of mine. Taken to a larger scale, I have millions of brothers and sisters around the world that I am to love, and they love me in return. With the love of God flowing through me, there should never be a time when I utter the words "I just can't stand that girl." Because she is either my sister in Christ, or she is my potential future sister in Christ. Isn't His love amazing?

As I look at the next year of my life, my goal is simple: to allow Christ to shine through me.

Simple, but that one goal impacts every single area of my life. I can't get caught up in petty Christian arguments like whether or not we should have a Christmas tree. But, I also must remember that those petty Christians are my spiritual siblings, and I need to love them, not just be frustrated by them.

Each day is a choice. I can choose to make my own decisions and live in my own strength, or I can look to Christ for the strength, grace and love to make it through each day, and to leave others better than I found them.